


(i wanna) feel the heat

by iphigenias



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Babe embarrasses himself and Gene loves him anyway, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:05:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iphigenias/pseuds/iphigenias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Um,” Babe tries to say, except it comes out as more of an “uhhh”. The guy just raises his very lovely eyebrows and kneels down in the wet grass so his face is level with Babe’s. He’s even prettier up close, <em>and</em> he’s wearing scrubs—God, he’s literally McDreamy from <em>Grey’s Anatomy</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(i wanna) feel the heat

**Author's Note:**

> i....... don't even know what this is. i'm sorry. it's terribly written and unbeta'd and i've never even seen grey's anatomy but i started my rewatch of the pacific yesterday and needed to distract myself from the sads. i hope it's not too awful
> 
> there was this prompt forever ago on tumblr: "imagine person a of your otp getting caught licking the letterbox of person b on a dare" and i remembered it and wrote this. if you know what post it is and who wrote it, pls let me know!!
> 
> as usual, this is based upon the hbo portrayals of easy company men, and no disrespect is intended to the real guys. title is from zz ward's 'move like u stole it' because irony

_Bill Guarnere is a dirty, rotten, no good little shit and I should never have become friends with him_ , Babe thinks savagely as he crosses the deserted suburban street around midnight, leaving Bill pissing himself with giggles on the footpath behind him. The fact that it’s fucking freezing tonight doesn’t help matters either; Babe can feel the crunch of frost beneath his feet as he steps onto the lawn Bill had pointed to not thirty seconds earlier.

“I dare you to…” Bill had said slowly, with the slight drunken haze of a Friday night spent hitting the heavy stuff. “To…” His eyes drifted to the house opposite them, and came alight with mischief. Babe’s stomach bottomed out. “Lick that letterbox!” Bill finished triumphantly, before bursting into a fit of laughter. Babe had rolled his eyes, because as far as Bill’s dares go this one was rather tame, and headed over to the letterbox. Except now that he’s here, standing in front of the offending item, the dare doesn’t seem quite so funny.

“D’ya have any idea how unsanitary this is?” Babe hisses across the street, but either Bill doesn’t hear him or chooses to ignore him. Babe rolls his eyes again, a habit he has whenever he’s around his best friend, and leans down to inspect the letterbox. It’s not dirty, that’s for sure, and the blue painted metal gleams under its frost coating. Babe sighs. He’s gonna regret this in the morning, but at least there’s no-one around to witness it.

The moment Babe’s tongue makes contact with the freezing metal, he knows he’s made a huge mistake. The frost sticks to his tongue like glue, and he can’t pull free. _I’m going to fucking murder Bill_ , Babe thinks as he flails his arms frantically, trying to get the offending party’s attention. If anything, Bill just laughs even harder, and Babe would snap at him to be quiet so he doesn’t wake up the whole fucking street if his tongue wasn’t stuck fast to some little old lady’s letterbox in suburban Philadelphia. 

Flailing wildly as he is, Babe doesn’t notice the house door opening, nor the crunch of footsteps on the grass as someone who is decidedly not Bill walks up beside the letterbox to survey the damage. “Need a hand?” comes a deep, drawling voice, making Babe’s heart jump out of his chest. He tilts his head to the side to catch a glimpse of the source of the words, and then his heart jumps out of his chest _again_ as he sees someone who is definitely _not_ a little old lady, staring down at Babe in amusement with his hands on his hips.

“Um,” Babe tries to say, except it comes out as more of an “uhhh”. The guy just raises his very lovely eyebrows and kneels down in the wet grass so his face is level with Babe’s. He’s even prettier up close, _and_ he’s wearing scrubs—God, he’s literally McDreamy from _Grey’s Anatomy_. Babe is _never_ gonna hear the end of this from Bill.

McDreamy moves even closer until Babe can count his very lovely eyelashes. He cups his hands around his mouth and places them right above Babe’s unfortunate tongue. Babe is about to ask what the fuck he thinks he’s doing—or, more accurately, _whaa aaa huuu yoou hiiiih yooourr oooiih—_ when McDreamy breathes out into the funnel he’s made of his very lovely hands, right onto the frozen part of Babe’s tongue. A gust of warm air sweeps over it, which is kind of gross, but then McDreamy does it again and Babe realises what he’s doing. He cups his own hands and starts to blow on the frost, until the combined efforts of him and McDreamy (with absolutely no help from Bill fucking Guarnere, who is still laughing on the other side of the street) manage to melt the frost enough so that Babe can give a sharp tug and pull his tongue free. It feels raw and painful, but when McDreamy leans in to examine it (Babe has to shut his eyes so he doesn’t keel over from the assault of all that sheer loveliness) he pronounces it chafed but not bleeding.

“Thank God,” Babe says, though it still comes out like “Hank God”. McDreamy gives him a look.

“I hope you don’ make a habit of licking poor unsuspectin’ people’s mailboxes, d’ya?” Babe gives a slightly hysterical laugh.

“Trust me, licking another letterbox is on my ‘never, _never_ again’ list.”

McDreamy glances across the street to where Bill is standing, still giggling quietly to himself. “I take it this were a dare, then?” At Babe’s contrite nod, he huffs and rolls his eyes. “Usually I like a guy to take me out to dinner _before_ bringin’ him home—so next time, gimme a call?”

Babe takes the card from McDreamy wordlessly, kind of lost as to how the most embarrassing moment of his twenty-four years of life turned into being asked out by one of the hottest guys on the planet. Babe glances down at the card. _Dr. Eugene Roe, paediatrician,_ it reads. So he’s good with kids too. Babe might just marry the guy then and there.

“Take your friend home, get some water an’ Tylenol in him, an’ send him to bed,” McDreamy— _Eugene_ —advises. “An’ maybe you should do the same. Call me when you’re sober, an’ we’ll talk.” He gives Babe a heart-jumping, weak-kneed smile before unlocking and getting into the car parked on the kerb. Babe watches him drive away, thinking it must be important for a doctor to be going to work in the middle of the night, and also thinking that he spent his precious time helping Babe out. It’s enough to send butterflies whirring through his stomach.

Babe crosses back over to Bill, who is looking at him with a shit-eating grin. “Man, I can’t believe you pulled a _doctor_. You’re marryin’ up.”

“Shuddup,” Babe tells him, tempted to push him over in the grass and leave him there, but the doc’s words still ring in his ears, and somehow, he doesn’t want to let him down. “Come on,” he says finally, slinging an arm around his long-suffering friend’s shoulders. “Let’s get you home, and maybe I’ll get a date.”

(He does.)

**Author's Note:**

> pls imagine gene getting to the hospital and seeing renee and telling her in this panicked high-pitched voice about this weird guy who he caught licking his letterbox but he was so fucking cute gene just had to give him his number and oh my god he gave him his number he never does that oh god renee renee what do i do
> 
> and renee just laughs and tells that very story at the wedding reception 3 years later
> 
> (also did you know that '3 ways to remove a stuck tongue from a frozen surface' is an actual wikihow article. the more you know)


End file.
